don't fall asleep yet.

Last night, John Green saw my tattoo. That is a thing that happened. I never got to explain to him why, so here is the shortened version:

I got this in April of last year after I was diagnosed with a rare tumor that is both cancer but not cancer. I was put on hormone treatments and then eventually began a form of chemotherapy. I wanted something that would kind of be my motivation to keep living, dreaming, doing, and discovering - mostly who I am and who I want to be. I also wanted something from LfA because not only was it the book that lead me to Nerdfighteria but it was the book that I kept quoting from when I found myself trying to keep my little brother on the phone until someone could get to him, on the night I discovered he was going to kill himself. I changed the “a” to “the” because one of my favorite quotes from the novel is, “The Great Perhaps was upon us, and we were invincible.” Of course, I only ever tell people this story on the internet and never irl, so no one who knows me personally actually has any idea what it means to me. So, yup.

By my wrist is a dandelion that is blowing in the wind and the seeds are becoming birds, flying away. Eventually, when I am tumor free (or more likely, it has just shrunk and is maybe not painful), I will have the birds continue over my arm, across my shoulder where the tumor is and passed it because hopefully I’ll be beyond this point in my life.